Hello Entrepreneurs of Excellence
Ok so here we go! What is the next part to getting more clients through speaking?
In this section I feel it is actually the most important step, which is to…
Learn about how to Let Go of Fear
Would it be helpful for you to know how to let go of all the fear that is associated with speaking, getting up in front of people, talking, sharing what it is that you do? You may very well know what this feeling of fear is like: the shaking, the worry or the sweating, or the nervousness, the worrying, or just not even showing up at an event at any thought that you may have to get up and talk.
Fear: you may have heard this term, this acronym F.E.A.R.: false evidence appearing real.
It’s all well and good that we have this acronym “false evidence appearing real”, but as I very well know there is nothing worse and it seems very real when fear is working its magic.
I have personally had to deal with fear myself when speaking and presenting, and one of the things that my body decided to start doing when I was presenting was my head start wobbling, which I found very interesting, but overtime I managed to fix this through practice and awareness, that it was just my body trying to protect me from a danger that doesn’t exist.
So, would you like to get past the feeling of fear and what it does to us? Well, this is definitely the chapter that you need to read.
So fear is an emotion, it’s a primal emotion that comes up from our reptilian brain which whenever we put ourselves in a perceived place of danger, it brings up all this emotions.
Now, some people are naturally more capable of getting up and presenting and speaking, because their influential styles or director styles; they have a more natural tendency to be able to get up and speak. If you’re not born with that style, what is it that you do to improve your confidence, skill, and ability to be able to get up and speak?
Well, the answer is, you need to be able to practice and prepare in the right way so you feel more confident to speak. But as I said earlier in the recording, the 20 keys to superstar speaking skills is, you need to decide that you actually do want to be a speaker.
You need to decide why you want to do it and the value that it’s going to bring you and the people that you want to influence, lead and inspire, and enroll in to whatever it is that you represent; think that decision.
The next thing is you need to be aware of what’s actually going on, and what I do to make the awareness fun and lighter and easier is I call my fear “the monkey”. The monkey mind, the monkey that is jumping around in my head telling me all this things why it won’t work, and why it’s a waste of time, fail and people will judge me, and what if I say no, and all those things that the monkey mind says to us which are just not true.
The awareness is that it is an emotion, trying to protect us from a perceived danger that doesn’t exist. Before we can shift into some more important ways to deal with fear, what I’d like to ask you is, “what is it that the monkey mind does to you and stops you?”.
Do any of this sound familiar?
I just freeze, sweat, and almost faint at the thought of getting up and speaking; one on one I’m fine, people in groups no way am I doing that.
Hey, I can’t present, it’s not perfect yet, I need to make sure that everything is perfect before I go out there and speak and present; and my journey is not complete, because I haven’t achieved enough, I’m not wealthy enough, I’m not successful enough, so I can’t get up and speak.
My website and 48 email auto-respond isn’t done yet, so I can’t get up and speak.
If I ask some questions, what if they don’t reply? So I’m not going to get up and talk at all.
If I ask them to register they’ll think I’m pushy, I need to prepare and practice. Hmmm, I wonder who’s on facebook?
Speak? Hmmm, I feel sick, hey I need a holiday, I better go overseas and get away.
And why bother doing all this work; no one will be interested in what I have to say anyway.
Do any of those monkey minds stories and thoughts in your head sound familiar to you?
Well I want you to get that this is the monkey mind doing its best to protect you from a perceived danger that does not exist.
So it’s important here to have awareness of what’s going on in our mind and with our emotions, so we can move forward to have control over our self; to be able to do the things that we want to do.
Which is to be able to get up and speak, influence and inspire people; gain more clients and make more sales.
So hang on ‘cause I got more powerful information to share with you how we can deal with this monkey called fear.
Speaker Mind Power Upgrade
Good question. How do we deal with the monkey mind and fear?
Well I call this “the mind power upgrade”; so we want to upgrade your mind powers so you have better, more powerful, confident, in charge over your emotions, over your ability to go and do what feels scary and confronting.
Now as I said, this is going to be more relevant to some people compared to others, because some people are more able to get up and speak more naturally but still I think at some level, all of us, no matter how confident someone maybe, is going to deal with this emotions at times.
So, how do we all sharpen our mind powers so that we can be more in charge of our emotions to go out there, help people, lead and inspire, gain more clients, make more sales and be more successful; changing the world and having a fantastic time while we do it?
I call it “talking to our mind as a second person”.
One of the things that you can do is you can say
“thank you mind for trying to protect me, however I choose to be in charge of my thoughts and feelings, and I am going to go and do what it is that I must do even while you tell me that it won’t work, it will fail and people will reject me because I’m in charge of my emotions, my life, and I aim to be courageous and determined, and go out there and make a difference”
Really powering up your confidence and drive, and determination.
The next point and philosophy that I live by is called “being the example“.
Now what do I mean by this? What I mean is, all of us are in the business of selling products and services, and by me getting up and speaking and presenting, and aiming to make a difference to others, sharing what it is that I can do, how I can help them be of service; is me aiming to be the example to other business people, professionals, leaders, managers, company owners, as to what they should be doing.
Because really when will you think about it, whether it’s presenting, calling, finding out if there’s an opportunity to do business together; all of us are in the same business.
If I’m presenting or making a phone call and getting off the phone, someone else that I’m speaking to at the other end needs to be doing the exact same thing when I get off the phone.
We’re all in the same business of enrolling everyone, so don’t be concerned about whether you’re being pushy or your upsetting people, because guess what, the exact person that your speaking to needs to be doing exactly what you’re doing.
So we all need to be doing this if and only if we want to be the example of what good business practices are. Be the example and say to yourself
” hey, they’re in that business, I’m in business, and I’m just aiming to be of service, go out there, see what value I can create; some will say no, but some will say yes, but I choose to show up and be the example“
Make it about them, not about you.
The number one reason why so many people get stuck from ever getting up and speaking and presenting, and helping and inspiring, and leading people and enrolling them, is they think all about themselves.
What will I think, what if they reject me, what if I’m no good?
Well I’m going to tell you, it has nothing to do with you. It’s all about them, it’s all about them, and as I do in my superstar speaker training workshops, I get the team to do an exercise which is getting up, introducing themselves and saying ” I deserve to be here and the most important thing is, it’s not about me, it’s about you“.
Make it about them and get off it being about yourself. Yes it’s going to feel a little bit uncomfortable, yes it’s going to feel a little bit scary, but if you truly decide you want to be up there, making a difference, bringing value to yourself and the people you want to work with; make it about them, get your focus off you and focus on them.
And believe in yourself and what you do. Aim to focus on believing in yourself and what it is that you do, you stand for, and represent; and if you feel really fearful, as a coach once said to me ” it means to prepare more“, and as I talk about it in my “20 key points to superstar speaking success”: prepare, prepare, prepare.
The more you prepare as an athlete, the better you’ll be at your sport and it’s exactly the same in speaking. If you feel fear, go to your superstar script, go to your preparation documents; think about what it is that you’re going go through and do the work and your fear will get reduce because you’ll feel prepared, and then know you are not perfect, but aim to be persistent.
That’s right, no one is perfect, none of us are perfect, but aim to be persistent so you can improve and develop your skills, to go be of service, make a difference to others.
And the one that I like when all else fails, when fear is really running its monkey show is I say
“well, I’ve done all that I can, I’m prepared, I’m ready to go, I still feel nervous, so I’m going to go out there and I’m going to give this my best shot, and let’s just see what happens“.
And I’ve even said “let’s just see if I live“.
And today I’m happy to say I’m still here, and I’ve lived.
Okay, we have covered lots today in this section. Let’s continue on next week for more valuable information and steps on how you can get more clients and make more sales
from building and using your masterful speaking and presenting skills.
Here is to your success,
Australia’s Leading Sales and Speaker Trainer
PS, if you would like assistance or a step in a better direction, feel free to contact me